So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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