Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
