do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
