I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
