I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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