She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
