pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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