Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
