i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
