Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
