oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize