Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize