I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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