If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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