I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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