Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
