Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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