my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize