i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
