my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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