I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
