I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize