We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
