I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
