We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
