so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
