So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
