I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
