Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
