I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize