I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
