There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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