I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
