Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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