It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize