I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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