some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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