I feel like I'm in dance class right now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
