he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
