I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
