haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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