Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize