I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
