So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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