We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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