I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
