He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
