I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
