i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
