I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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