ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
