I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
