she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
