I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just want to make out with him forever
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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