I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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