I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dignity is for republicans.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
