yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
