we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
