im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
