My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
