dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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