We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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