how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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