Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
