I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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