Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
