On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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