Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
