I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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