They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
