I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
