Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize