I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
